I should be at uni right now

After a day of surreal weirdness yesterday, I thought I’d give today’s lecture a miss…

In my defence, I’ve just spent the last year reviewing and summarising papers for my dissertation, I’m pretty sure I don’t need a whole 2 hours to learn how to review a paper formally. Also, it costs me on average Ā£25 to make a trip into Bristol and I honestly fail to see the benefit of this ONE lecture.

When you’ve spent a year technically working for a lab group, participating in the daily grind of a working life, it changes you. I’ve had part-time jobs and summer long internships before but they’ve always been on top of education. Having a WHOLE YEAR out of it whilst contributing to actual science wasn’t as enjoyable as I imagined but forced me into living the working life. Now that I’m back at uni, I don’t like that either…

My first lecture went like this.

I sat at the back to avoid being trapped in a group that already knew each other as I really don’t know many people now in my year as they’ve all graduated while I was working. There were two leads of the course at the front waiting for everyone to arrive as normal when they started their spiel about ‘welcome back’, ‘this year is a whole new level of hard’, ‘you have to attend everything and get ahead while you can’.

Then in stormed the head of a series of units that are utter rubbish. He literally stormed in from the back of the lecture swinging a baseball bat and stomping down interrupting everything. The other two lecturers just broke out in giggles and left the rest of us wondering what the f**k was going on. Upon reaching the front, he then proceeds to say the following pun while slamming his baseball bat on the podium.

This year, I’m playing hard ball with you

The two leads of the course then screamed with laughter along with him. I think they were half expecting us all to find it hilarious but it was literally the cringy-est moment of my degree and at that point I put my head in my hands and thought ‘what the hell am I doing here‘.

It even tops the time a member of the Christian society came in and told us one of the following statements was true:

  • I have a tattoo of Jesus on my butt
  • I was once refused entry to a club by a bouncer for some weird reason (forgot the reason)

She said ‘the answer will be revealed at our launch event on ____ date’. It wasn’t the religious element that was cringy for a bunch of science undergraduates (mainly atheists), it was the extreme enthusiasm this person had for her apparently engaging story to lure us along to the event. You should know, being a student, the only way to lure people to events is free food and/or booze.

Apparently the answer wasn’t even the 3rd one. God knows which one was correct.

Back to the MOST cringy-est lecture ever though. This guy then proceeded to basically advertise his own published book as a fundamental text for the two units that he just-so-happens-to-run and then tried to scare us about the following year. Apparently he said in another lecture that ‘maybe if you treat it like a 9-5pm job, you might pass’. Got high hopes for it.

The rest of the lecture involved banging on about how to correctly reference a paper and how that’s pretty much our whole year in a nutshell. Reading and writing about papers. Fun times. I find this particularly ironic as he quoted a bunch of students saying how they wish they worked harder in this unit and then didn’t cite who or when the quote was found…

I realised too late how useful the lecturers book could be!!!!!!
I realised too late how useful the lecturers book could be!!!!!!

I had another 3 lectures after this which were just as useless and then one decent lecture on linear regression statistics. More fun times!

Ā£40 down the drain and we’re at present time, avoiding another waste of money, time and effort of attending a lecture on a skill that I have probably almost perfected in the last year. Moreover, my university has introduced a new recording feature for our lectures so I’m hoping to catch up with most of this rubbish from the comfort of my desk to avoid the unnecessary waste of money.

So in summary, my first day back at uni was all kinds of weird and surreal and made me want to get on with my life as a trainee teacher rather than waste my time bumming around with pretend science. I also feel like a massive minority coming back from a year in industry and didn’t realise how much I matured over this past year until now.



3 thoughts on “I should be at uni right now

  1. Wow, sounds pretty draining… hopefully it’ll pick up soon! Maybe you could impress everyone with your knowledge of the working world? šŸ˜€ You’ll be rejoicing your past year at work after you graduate. Good luck and all the best!


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